“Negativity is the enemy of creativity.”

―David Lynch

The Wizard’s Reflection

Misery Loves Company

For many, the sense of victimhood is so central to our sense of identity that we seek out others with whom to share it. Our closest “friends” are those that will commiserate with us ad nauseam. We gather to bemoan our existence in a sort of competition of who has gotten it worse and who. We tell ourselves that it is healthy, that we are just venting. But when it is omnipresent in one’s social life, it is nothing so healthy as a much-needed rant. Instead, it is a compulsive feeding and validation of the negativity which is feeding on us.

We may restrict this bond to just one or a few of those closest to us, most like us. We may also form tribes of such negative peer bonding. We see this in gangs, political parties, religions and social media. When we understand how our addiction to misery and bonding through it, has us blinded to our better natures, it becomes clear how our world has become so driven by unresolved adolescent fears.

Suggested Divinatory Meanings

How am I indulging in my suffering?

How am I enjoying the suffering of others?

How am I encouraging others to reinforce their suffering?

Am I bonding with others through loss in a way that amplifies that loss?

Are my social connections based on commiseration?

Am I identifying with my wounds in such a way that keeps me, or others, from healing?

Do I see a pattern of self-reflective suffering that is draining rather than releasing?

Can I commiserate with another without losing myself in the misery of it?

Who would I be if I no longer identified with my losses?

Do I have negative communication patterns that I can leave behind?