“Tacit approval is real approval; hypothetical approval is not.”

—Leif Wenar, Blood Oil

The Wizard’s Reflection

Walking The Tightrope

From our first days drawing breath, we have been consumed in a field of other people’s ideas about how a person ought to be. Initially, these prompts are useful to help us model for ourselves our sense of our way through the world. If left at that, however, we remain reliant on the approval of others and in so doing give our life’s creative expression away in exchange for feeling accepted.

The shift from external validation to internal validation is a hero’s journey. It is a walk across a tightrope of authenticity where a fall to the right leads us back to relying on the views of others and a fall to the left spirals us into the narcissistic tendencies of self-bolstering arrogance and do-no-wrong certainty. True internal validation is not a self-talk affirmation, but an integrated posture of body, mind and spirit that emerges from a well-digested sense of self-equality.

Suggested Divination Meanings

Am I relying on the approval of others to choose my path in life?

What limiting beliefs am I clinging to so that others will approve of me?

How can I clarify between the creative impulses of others and my own creative responses?

What can I do to tune into my own internal guidance?

How can I balance my need for belonging and my need for authenticity?

What ideas about myself did culture engrain in me that does not now serve me?

How can I use the perspectives of others, but in a way where I make them my own?

How can I liberate myself from the self-defeating momentum of those around me?

How can I know my truth yet stay open and welcoming of others’ perspectives?

How can I stay integral to myself and in collaboration with others?