“Adversity what have I done to you
To cause this reclusive silence
That has come between me and you?”
—Dead Can Dance, “Spirit”
Life has a way of pushing our buttons, and the nature of such button pushing is that we don’t have a choice in the matter, which adds to the frustration. The choice we do have, however, is how we respond to the situation. Our ability to choose our attitude rather than have emotional patterning dictate it and how we choose to see such adversity in a bigger context. The process of maturing is often not very pretty.
To have Tantric Trust is to trust the web of life and the path you take to engage it. When we can recognize that our mistakes, failures and otherwise poor judgments can and do lead us to the perfect lessons we needed at each point, we have hit upon such trust. Seeing the interconnectedness of all things includes the seemingly wrong turns as well as the perfect performances. The path of success is paved with the stones of failure.
Testing the Edges
Self-knowledge is never found by resting on one’s laurels. It is all too easy to assume we know who we are and what we are made of. It is all too tempting to posture ourselves on our concepts of who we are rather than uncover the depths of what forms us and instead let such ultimately undefinable energy resonate into and through us to shape our relations. A rare person would set out from the comfort zones of toxic belonging to see what lies beyond the horizons.
Out on the edge of our world, we will find a complete spectrum of experience. This will be both shadow and light. Whether we are challenging ourselves with public performance, new relationships, solitude, skill development, loss, or responsibility, we will find it brings both an invigoration and a challenge to our balance. They say, “what does not kill you will make you stronger.” We can equally say, if it does not purify you, it does not empower you.
The Delicate Art Of Discernment
Yet, too much is too much. Our edges must be explored, but our boundaries must also be honored. We must weigh the balance between self-protection and vulnerability. To err on the former is to hide from the beauty and wonder of empowerment. To err on the latter is to lose our polestar of appreciation and gratitude for the unlikeliness of incarnation. Fearlessness must always be balanced with nurturance.
We will fail in this balance regularly. By exploring the extents of a given set of polarities, we discover where the center is. At times it may seem like we are flailing wildly. At other times we may have the poise of silent decisiveness. Discernment is an ever-shifting recalibration. One day it will say to jump right in, even though our fear triggers are sounding the alarms. Another day it will be evident that those alarms are for real. This is the price of and the promise to those who would dare to see life for themselves.
Suggested Divination Meanings
Am I letting fear keep me from taking the path of power?
In what do I place my trust and why?
What path promises me empowerment even though I hesitate to take it?
Have I pushed myself too far into intensity and need to take a step back to recover?
What is this challenge pointing my attention to that I don’t want to look at?
What would the person I want to become choose to do in this situation?
Am I afraid to withdraw because it will appear weak to others, even though I know it is for the best?
What path forward will invigorate me most?
What have I learned, from taking things either too far or not far enough, that applies to this situation?
Can I see the symmetry in this challenge and how it meets me right where I need to grow?